Change of Plans

Love, Life and Cancer in your 30's

I Remember

I remember calling you to see if you wanted to walk home together after work.
And getting an unintelligible sob in response.

I remember standing in my cubicle yelling at you to tell me where you were.
A spectacle for many observers.

I remember running to the AMC movie theater to find you.
I do not remember the five blocks, cross walks, or traffic.

I remember leaping up the down escalator to embrace you.
That’s the first time I ever saw you lose your composure, and I felt my world shift.

I remember holding you as you called your parents.
And all night long as you cried yourself to sleep.

I remember doing dishes as you showered the next morning.
Letting myself cry for the first time since getting the news.


Sideways - Citizen Cope

You know it ain't easy
For these thoughts here to leave me
There's no words to describe it
In French or in English
Well, diamonds they fade
And flowers they bloom
And I'm telling you

These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out lately
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking in a moment that
Time will take them away
But these feelings won't go away